Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
