I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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