I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
