Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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