Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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