My friends, they love my intelligence
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
