Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
