Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
