I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
