Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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