He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You are a genius and a whore.
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