You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
