census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
