I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
