Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
