everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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