Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
