Screwed.edu
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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