its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
