dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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