Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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