i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
