i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
