He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
