don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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