I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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