I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Fuck appropriateness.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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