seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
