At least make sure they are 18
Why
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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