I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
