So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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