Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
