weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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