Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize