is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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