Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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