its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
