I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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