I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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