quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
