So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
