Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
