I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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