Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
