Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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