she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
