I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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