I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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