I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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