He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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