oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the condom got lost in my hair
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
