Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
