i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
