I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize