I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
