I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
