At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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