One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you had me at cake vodka
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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