question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
