just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
