he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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