I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
