She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
