Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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