So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize